Monday, November 2, 2009


I have tried many times to begin this blog, but didn't know what to talk about or what to do.  I see friends create them to update world travels, display new dishes they have made, or talk about the joys of new found motherhood.  But me, I had no idea what to talk about.  Then I had the famous "revelation in the shower" and realized I like to talk about, read about, and think about sports.  Yes, I am an academic and I can debate about anything from politics to race to nation to identity.  But really, in the long run it gets old...and who cares?  You are who you are - but that doesn't get you funded so I leave those debates in the academic and political realms of society.

Instead I want to talk about me - my actual life goals and what I want to get out of this life.  I have lost and gained weight over the past 6 years, thinking that if I was "smaller" I would be happier.  Instead I have found myself going up and down in emotions, hating life at one minute and then embracing it the next.  Exercising like a maniac and then eating and drinking myself into depression. The death of my father, graduate school, relationships - general life really - has placed me on a roller coaster. At one point I thought I had no control over the ride, no brakes or steering that would allow me to control the next direction.

Now, I have taken back the reins and re-evaluated this thing called life.  I have let fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and good old doubt kept me from doing the things I have only dreamed about.   What has been the difference you ask?  For the first time I have decided where I want to live and what I want to do. I moved to Bristol, England to finish my degree with no real intentions to leave. I decided what I wanted to study and now I am deciding what I want to do with this thing called life.  So I being my journey of conquering the fears that have held me back for so long.

I want to run in long distance races, compete in triathlons, learn yoga, become a spin instructor, rock climb, and climb mountains - no really climb real mountains around the world.  And why the hell not?  Life is worth living when you push your mind and body to the extremes.  Doctors told me I wouldn't be able to run with my knees, height, back, weight - but I run.  I was told I was not smart enough to get a Ph.d - but I am.  I was told I wouldn't get funded for my research - but I have.  So now I challenge myself to do the things that I have only dreamed about, and talked about, in a half-ass way. 

I start with a half-marathon.  The Prague Half Marathon to be exact.  March 28th, 2010. I paid the entrance fee, have a vision board created, a trainer working with me, and the fear of actually running 13.1 miles keeping me going.  So I use this blog to keep me honest, keep me motivated, and to keep track of my goals.   
Prague Half Marathon 2010


Alicia said...

Hell yeah, Nicole!! Can't wait to hear more about your accomplishments. Anything u've put your mind to has come to be...i'm so proud of u!! U're so inspiring and i'm glad i helped push u to start your blog...TODAY! ;) Can't wait to read more about your life!

Nicole said...

THANKS! I am motivated now to do this.

Meg said...

yay! Love the blog! So excited for your adventures... I'll be following you!

snally said...

I think this is exactly what you should be doing right now. I am so proud of how far you have come on your journey of self-discovery. And we are totally doing killi for our dirty 30!!!!!

Sam said...

Thanks for sharing your journey with us! I love that you're really working your writing chops through a blog -- it'll help you shape your book(s) and keep you honest. :)

Lulu said...
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