Bottom line, money is tight as it is for everyone. Although I know that the move to Bristol was a much needed one for Mike and myself I can't help but wonder if I made a mistake in allowing Mike to quit a good paying job in Michigan and come to a country that is still in the mists of an economic recession (and then come to the part of the country that has been hit the worst by the economic downturn). We are stronger as a couple, but the strain financial and mentally on me to sustain the household is wearing me thin. I am now maxed out at 20 hours a week - all the hours my visa will allow me to work - on top of the 20-30 hours a week I spend on my own research plus the training for the half marathon and the rehab for my back. Mike is looking and looking, but the doors are just not opening. I mean even B&Q (the Home Depot of the UK) turned him down, telling Mike his personality was to big for a job working the till! So he continues everyday to look for jobs, making calls to everyone he can in the hopes of landing a position. Honestly, things could be a lot worse and I am glad for the support I am getting from my mom which is unexpected and unusual considering our up and down relationship.
But in the meantime I have to learn how to not worry so much. As I get closer to my goal of graduating in May 2011 I get more and more scared. How am I going to finish? Will I get a job? Why did I decide to do a Ph.D. in Anthropology (well hell at least it is not in Philosophy or Romance Languages)? How in the hell am I going to pay off my MASSIVE student loans if I don't get a job? Will I be able to stay in the UK? Can I see myself back in the US? I mean WTF?!!!! I know, I know a little manic but really all I want is to sleep.